Monday, June 25, 2012

Why You Should Pay for Your Half of the Date


Do you want a better dating experience?
      Then pay for your own half of the date.

   The idea that a woman should insist upon paying for her half of the date, at least in the early stages, goes against traditional romantic conventions. The notion seems almost anti-chivalrous- an action that prevents men from being the providers they want to be.
  
 Unless you really, really want to score a few free dinners and movie tickets, I suggest that you refrain from allowing him to pay for the entire outing. But why?
   
Think about it. How many times has a guy payed for your date, and how many times have you actually thanked him with sincere gratititude? How many times have you brushed off a guy's generosity due to feelings of self-entitlement? How many time's has a guy felt more entitled to YOU because he made a "financial investment" in you?
   Basically, paying for your own half of the date alleviates the common pressure and confusion for both parties.
     The following are the top benefits of footing your own bill.

   1. Less Expectation and Less Room for Disappointment
   
   How many times have you been through or heard of the disappointment a girl goes through after her date leaves her with her own half of the check to cover?
   Be honest, if your expectations were crushed, you probably thought less of the guy. His refusal to pay for you suddenly makes him undesirable, and you start to see all of his "negative traits." 
Your feelings of self-entitlement put you into a very closed off, uptight stage, far from being fun, positive, and open to your dating experience. Disappointment makes you feel bitchy.
   Don't be bitchy. And if you read Sherry Argov's self help book, you probably understand the distinction between being a "bitch" and being plain old bitchy. Being bitchy equals instant death to your love life.

   2. He Won't Feel Entitled, Either

   Pay for your own date and avoid the hideous beast that arises from a jaded male's overblown sense of authority at having provided for you. His logic goes something along the lines of "I provide for you, you provide for me." That tit-for-tat logic makes sense, but the way he practices is pretty creepy.
   Some guys just equate paying for your dinner as rights to playing with your boobs. 
Although these guys are to be completely avoided, sometimes you can explore the other side of men jaded by women who take their generosity for granted by being financially responsible for yourself. 
   Keep in mind, levels of self entitlement exist in various degrees. Some men are more subtle.  Still, no self-entitlement is best. Foot your own bill. No self entitlement issues.

   3. Less Feelings of Obligation

   You meet a nice guy, he pays for the entire date, the night goes okay, but you don't want to do it again. But he's was so nice. Some women guilt trip themselves into accepting another date because the guy treated them well. Avoid this at all costs.
   Pay for yourself and you will not feel any bit obligated. 

   4. You Can Have Whatever You Like

   The guy isn't paying for you, therefore you need not worry about whether or not the item you choose is too pricey or too cheap. Most women choose cheap items because they don't want to be a "hassle" or ask too much of their date, which is a nice thought. Still, paying for whatever you truly want is even better. Just make sure you can afford it.
     
     Your freedom of choice also extends to activities. If you can afford the activity, you merely have to ask your date if he'd like to join you. You two can have more fun when the dates aren't restricted to what he can pay for the both of you.

   Pay for your own half and enjoy a wider variety of activities and a lighter sense of freedom during your nights out.

   That being said, you should only let a guy pay for you IF YOU ACTUALLY REALLY LIKE HIM.

   When a guy pays for your date, he is showing you that he is a provider and that he can take care of you. Allowing a guy to pay for you shows him that you actually like the idea of him taking care of you. Make sure you thank your date for treating you, and never dismiss his generosity as mere social convention. 

  Most importantly, don't let money be a huge factor when it comes to your dating experience. Have fun, be thoughtful, and accept and take on action for valid reasons. 



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