A majority of people in various stages of relationships often wonder whether or not their partner is "The One." Lots of us expect ourselves to one day find someone who will make our dreams come true and fill a space in our hearts that catapults us into eternal happiness. It definitely is not wrong to want this, but the path to fulfilling this desire gets awfully messy. Thanks to our strong tendency to neglect ourselves from giving ourselves the love, attention, honestly, and acceptance we need to consciously make our own dreams come true and feel the wholeness of our own heart and enjoy the choice of happiness right now, we give that power away and conveniently project it onto "The One."
Yet, no one is ever "done" giving themselves love and attention. No one is ever "done" opening their heart and choosing happiness in the present moment. We all must continue to practice this way of being. The more we live in a state of connection to ourselves, the more we root ourselves and really allow ourselves to be, and the more we take responsibility for the way we feel inside and adjust that so our lives are more aligned with how we'd like to feel, the more clarity we have to assess a relationship and let our intuition and logic help us make any decisions we need to make.
That could mean you aren't at a place where you are truly ready for the One. Maybe deep inside you feel like you need to work on yourself first before finding the One. Maybe you feel like you need to explore life and grow as a single person. These are very valid intentions, and maybe you are holding these intentions and they are contradicting your search for the One. Get to know yourself and become aware of any contradictions like these that also create "conflict" in real life. If you truly feel like growing as a single person but you also keep driving yourself crazy looking for the one and he/she isn't showing up, you can set yourself at peace knowing what you truly want more and what really resonates with you in the now. You may still have the desire to find and be with the One, but right now, you may feel that you truly want independence. Examining your beliefs and desires and becoming aware of any contradictions really help elevate your sense of inner peace.
I think that if you are very hung up on the idea and label of "the One", you should really loosen your grip on that label. The more relaxed you are, the more open you are and the more space for love and fun and happiness you create and share. When you are in this space of love and happiness and respect with someone for long enough, you grow together in this space. When you grow together in this space, you really get a sense of what the best of life can be together when you both are living from a place of lightheartedness, respect, care, and authenticity.
In order to live in this space, you have to be responsible for creating your own life so that you can allow yourself to be with a partner because you truly love them and are even happier when you are with them, not because you need them. Clarity comes from knowing who you want, and clarity is muddled when you throw needs onto partners. These needs can be financial, emotional, intellectual, or spiritual. Its totally fine to want to connect and resonate on all of these levels, but to absolutely need a partner who can fulfill your self created lack on these levels takes you away from that space we want to be in.
When you're with your partner, just be with your partner. Be relaxed, be yourself. Experience each other's true essence and if you find yourself peacefully and sustainable rejuvenated every time you're with your partner, that is a pretty good sign. If being yourself with your partner makes you feel rejected, consider the reasons as to why that could be so. If you feel high with your partner and then crash down hard when you're apart, also consider why that could be. The point is to find and be with someone who makes your life even better, and whose life you also improve just by being 100% you.
Remember, relationships aren't meant to be hard. Sure, you will have problems but those are just opportunities to grow and practice your free will. Do you want to use your free will to experience love and happiness and connection and intimacy or do you want to use your free will to experience doubt or control or anger or desperation?
Relationships can be easy if you are steady and strongly rooted within yourself and open to growth and connection. The One is the person who you share a deep sense of love and care and peace with, whose life and personality just so happens to complement yours so that you don't need to suffer at the hands of distance or time or personal preference. Just trust that your inner world will undoubtedly create your outer world and start approaching life from the inside.