Monday, July 9, 2012

How to Attract More Loving Relationships Into Your Life



   The more aware we are of how our relationships affect us, the more deliberate we are when examining the dynamics of a relationship, the more success we have in finding and nurturing the relationships that best serve us.   

   To attract more loving people into one's life, one must first discern between the positive and negative relationships that they currently interact within.

   A positive relationship will make you feel supported, happy, and respected. Giving and taking is equal or as close to equal as possible. Harmony is prioritized. You two share a relationship because of common positive interests- not to create negative feelings and energies like hate, envy, or perpetual despair. You commit to the bond because of genuine compassion- you two actually like each other and enjoy being in each other's company. Being with that person makes you feel peaceful/rejuvenated/progressively stimulated/accepted/etc. Positive relationships make you feel grateful.

   Negative relationships do not offer the benefits of a positive relationships. Negative relationships are draining, with little trust/respect/compassion/consideration for each other. You two may come together based on mutual dislikes and hate, thus increasing negative and draining energies. You commit to each other because of egocentric reasons. Being with that person leaves you feeling tired/angry/distrustful/unpleasant/hateful/etc. Negative relationships leave you misaligned.
   
   To attract more loving relationships, one must first cut ties with overly demanding, energy-draining bonds. Discern wisely and make decisions from the heart. You will leave your comfort zone during this process of elimination. Do not be discouraged. 

   Do not resume relationships with negative people because you are bored or lonely. This stage requires strength and self examination. If you feel that only others can offer what you need to get over your boredom/loneliness/discomfort/etc, then look within and examine yourself. Find the root of your problem and understand why you are projecting the solution onto people and situations outside of yourself. The problem is within, along with the solution.

   Once you have freed yourself from the destructive commitments and habits that come with negative relationships, you must now heal yourself. To heal yourself, allow yourself to be happy.    
 
  Do not partake in activities that do you no good, for that creates or reinforces more of those negative relationships- be it with other people, places, objects, or actions. 

 Instead, partake in activities you truly enjoy that also nurture your health. Learn to make real food, take yoga classes, start writing, read more books, meditate. Make a habit of spending your time doing things that increase your quality of life.


  Most importantly, you must heal yourself by accepting yourself fully. To attract people who truly love you and respect you, you must truly love and respect yourself. Remove negative programming that lowers your self esteem and confidence. Remove fear based programming that makes you too proud and judgmental. Become the friend and partner you seek.

   Meet new people. Do not be afraid to strike up a conversation with people you meet during your favorite activities. Follow your intuition. If someone catches your eye for good reasons, approach them.

   Approach relationships with a new mindset. Do not crush the possibilities of a relationship by forcing expectations onto it. Learn to enjoy the person's company and contributions in the present, as events unfold.Give the effort you wish to receive, and more. Always consider ways that allow you to contribute and offer value within your commitments and interaction. Sharing is caring. Follow your intuition. Listen to your heart. The basic rules most effectively apply.

  Keep in mind that although some relationships may seem perfectly suitable for you, misalignments may be subtle or even unknown at times. If a relationship is not meant to work, if there is too much stress and resistance albeit seemingly positive interactions, then you must learn to let go and allow the relationship to handle itself. Do not force yourself onto others, and do not allow others to overstep your boundaries and push you. Learn the difference between a relationship with someone that expands your comfort zone, and one that pushes you completely beyond it in a negative way. 

   Most importantly, be grateful for all of your relationships and all of the lessons and observations you can make by witnessing your role within social interactions. Always uphold your personal priorities that serve you best, be loving and accepting, and the rest will take care of itself.

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