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Showing posts with the label subconscious

How to Stop Labeling People

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Labeling one's surroundings is a strongly rooted habit- we subconsciously organize our environment into categories which help us "survive." From a survivalist viewpoint, this tendency is extremely helpful- we must label that area of the forest as dangerous, the members of a neighboring tribe as friendly or lethal, and that body of water as impure. Arriving at quick conclusions when facing crucial survival situations is useful and promotes our well-being, but when that same tendency is practiced in a totally nonthreatening environment (e.g. our social lives), we actually hinder the flow of our happiness. How We Organize the People Around Us Most of us constantly form observations about others within the first few seconds of meeting them. Their appearance, body language, and general "vibe" seem to communicate to us their personalities. This alone, in its "pure" act, is a very harmless exercise. There is nothing wrong with deducing a person's emotions...

How to Get Over Someone Part 2: Associations

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Associations and beliefs created during the relationship remain long after the breakup. These create residual tendencies and emotional habits that one continues to experience so long as they remain unexamined. In order to let go, one must understand why these associations were initially created. An association is essentially a connection. Generally speaking, the shape of a heart is associated with romance. The color yellow is associated with sunshine. Your former flame's cologne is associated with the intimacy of being able to appreciate the scent while enjoying physical contact and comfort. Associations can easily bring about old memories and the emotions experienced during such occurrences. These emotions may lead one to feeling needy- as if fulfillment can only be found in the past. By doing so, one idealizes the past and experiences a painful sort of nostalgia. To combat such nostalgia, one must understand why they reminisce. Usually, if one's needs are fulfilled in the pre...