Showing posts from July, 2012

How to Get Over Someone Part 2: Associations

Associations and beliefs created during the relationship remain long after the breakup. These create residual tendencies and emotional habits that one continues to experience so long as they remain unexamined. In order to let go, one must understand why these associations were initially created.

An association is essentially a connection. Generally speaking, the shape of a heart is associated with romance. The color yellow is associated with sunshine. Your former flame's cologne is associated with the intimacy of being able to appreciate the scent while enjoying physical contact and comfort.
Associations can easily bring about old memories and the emotions experienced during such occurrences. These emotions may lead one to feeling needy- as if fulfillment can only be found in the past. By doing so, one idealizes the past and experiences a painful sort of nostalgia.
To combat such nostalgia, one must understand why they reminisce.
Usually, if one's needs are fulfilled in the present mo…

How to Love Yourself: Part 1: Detachment

Love is an energy. Love is a state of total acceptance, harmony, and truth. True love with another individual is virtually impossible unless one truly loves themselves. This self love requires an honest and deliberate look into one's self and inner environment in order to be accessed. 
Tuning Into the Flow Love resonates from within first- any attempts at finding love outside of the self are futile and shall create new bonds, associations,and expectations that will cause suffering and disappointment.
Accept Yourself We can not truly accept others if we do not accept ourselves. Self acceptance demands detachment from the illusory qualities we define ourselves with.
You are not your life story. You are not the emotions you feel, the problems you solve, the job you work, the friends you keep, the country you're from.  You are not your favorite sports team, your weekly/nightly/daily/monthly/yearly habits, your interests and hobbies, your talents, your achievements, your successes, and your …

How to Stop Being a Possessive, Controlling Partner

**UPDATE: I have recently published a new eBook- "Before You Cheat: A Guide to Reclaiming Your Life from Infatuation, Obsession, and Infidelity." It is available for download on Amazon: Thank you so much for your support.**

Being a possessive, controlling partner can and will ruin a potentially great relationship. If you would like to save your relationship and improve your connection with your partner, you must understand why you are being possessive and controlling. You must resolve the internal conflicts that cause you to behave in a way that negatively restricts your partner's life. You must also change the nature of your relationship choices.
Why You Feel the Need to Be Possessive and Controlling
Lack of Trust and Respect When you attempt to control another human being and restrict their life according to your preferences, you are greatly disrespecting them. You either do not respect your partner or you do not respect yourself. 

How to Get Over Someone Part 1: The Fear

Relationships happen- they are initiated, experienced, and sometimes ended. While many benefits come from appreciating and observing relationships you've had in the past, becoming "stuck" on one or not being able to "get over" somebody can be extremely detrimental to your dating life, romantic outlook, and sometimes...sanity.    We can not get over somebody or move on from them because of fear. This fear comes in many forms, sometimes manifested as one, a few, or all and more of the following.

 1) You Are Scared That There Is Nobody Else For You
         You believe that you can not be with anybody else. That person was either the "partner of your dreams" or "perfect" for you. You do not believe that you will be able to "do better", and that everybody else will be a downgrade you will have to settle down for. 

Solution:  Take them off of that pedestal. Do not continue to invest in limiting beliefs that reinforce the reality that they ar…

How to Attract More Loving Relationships Into Your Life

The more aware we are of how our relationships affect us, the more deliberate we are when examining the dynamics of a relationship, the more success we have in finding and nurturing the relationships that best serve us.   
   To attract more loving people into one's life, one must first discern between the positive and negative relationships that they currently interact within.
   A positive relationship will make you feel supported, happy, and respected. Giving and taking is equal or as close to equal as possible. Harmony is prioritized. You two share a relationship because of common positive interests- not to create negative feelings and energies like hate, envy, or perpetual despair. You commit to the bond because of genuine compassion- you two actually like each other and enjoy being in each other's company. Being with that person makes you feel peaceful/rejuvenated/progressively stimulated/accepted/etc. Positive relationships make you feel grateful.
   Negative relationsh…