Be Ridiculously Good at Life

Love may be "easy", but relationships were never meant to be that way. Ideally, relationships are based on love. You commit to a person because you love them. Love is supposed to be easy. Love is supposed to flow with ease and permeate every fiber of your being. Love is supposed to show you the way and be your foundation and guide your decisions.  It sounds pretty simple, and it could be. But we are human beings and human beings are known for being perfectly flawed and riddled with complexes, insecurities, illusions, entitlements, and bad habits. We're all capable of radiating love towards ourselves and our partners, but as humans, we are also equipped with obstacles that get in the way. And this is why relationships can hurt so much sometimes. When we let our inner obstacles get in the way of love, we withdraw love. We can withdraw love from ourselves, from our partners, or altogether. When we withdraw our love, we create a space for pain to fill. We fill that space with...

I'm a fan of Mark Manson's "Fuck Yes or No" rule . This rule states that if you don't say "Fuck Yes!" to a proposition, then it is a no. This means that if you aren't totally enthusiastic about someone or something, then don't go for it. If you meet someone and you don't feel that "fuck yes" positivity towards being their friend/date/business partner, then don't go for it. Of course, this requires an open mind and a quiet ego and a developed intuition to really work. An open mind, quiet ego, and developed intuition are essential to a good life, regardless of whether one adopts the Fuck Yes or No rule, so definitely work on those aspects first before trying to make the rule work and having it fail because all the mental/emotional/ego clutter gets in the way. The Fuck Yes or No rule begs for further examination and alignment. To really apply this rule to all aspects of your life, you really need to take it to the next level: expec...

As a very free spirited and relatively care free person, I approach all of my relationships with a certain openness and flexibility. I try not to project expectations onto family or friends or partners. I respect the fact that people have very different ways of showing their love, affection, and support. I embrace the fact that people seek out connection and expression in various ways, and I am honest enough with myself to recognize that certain people's natural affinities complement my own. Despite all of this, I still can't avoid getting hurt. One theme that has been causing me some social grief ever since middle school has been the awkward unrequited friend attraction. I make a friend. We get along super well. I make it very well known that my romantic interests lie on someone else, because that's the truth. We stay friends. Then one day, I am made known of my friend's sexual or romantic desire. I make it known that those feelings are unreciprocated as gently as poss...

Romantic apathy is a dull, aching pain that weighs down your heart in spite of all of the freedom it claims to offer. You just don't care. No one gets to you. No one makes you feel anything. Interactions are empty. Pleasure can't be sustained in this state, so it is chased after within the confines of quick fixes and half hearted attempts to make a connection. It is never enough. Maybe you got burnt. Maybe your heart got broken. Maybe you saw things that made you never want to be vulnerable. Maybe you've never truly let someone in, or maybe the person who you considered home made some very hurtful decisions that left you feeling betrayed and angry and hopeless. Maybe you were counting on someone and all the weight of your blind faith toppled them off of their pedestal. And now you feel very alone. You feel alone despite all of your efforts. Maybe you're a machine now, performing once meaningful acts in the most mechanical of ways. That gesture that once held so much ten...

UPDATE: 02.09.17: Hello everyone. Thanks for all your support. I'm venturing into video blogging about these topics that hold a special place in my heart. Here are two videos (part 1 and 2) that will help you on your path.  **UPDATE: I have recently published a new eBook- "Before You Cheat: A Guide to Reclaiming Your Life from Infatuation, Obsession, and Infidelity." It is available for download on Amazon:  http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00HDOF704 . Thank you so much for your support.** Sometimes we meet certain people that cause such an explosion of emotions, feelings, questions, thoughts, and attraction in us that we find ourselves thinking about them all the time. Sometimes we just can not stop thinking about them- regardless of what we're doing or the last time we've seen them. The smallest of their actions leads us to over-analyze every tiny move they make. We find ourselves pondering over and over again about their intentions and how they possibly feel about us. ...

When we enter relationships, we interact with a new person of facets and dimensions previously unbeknownst to us. We are never the same person with different people, and our experiences and connections are totally unique to the bond we share with this new person. What could potentially be a new, fresh experience rife with potential and possibilities is often drastically limited with the emotional baggage, expectations, and preconceived notions both partners project onto each other. Instead of being with a person and sharing time and moments with each other, we label, analyze, and identify this new person through what we think we understand about their behavior, preferences, and personality. We seek to "understand" and "peg down" our partner because we seek some form of control over this person who we have allowed under our skin. We are opening ourselves up to another and we are vulnerable- but instead of embracing this vulnerability, we become afraid of it and so we...

Being in a serious relationship leads to developing a very close bond with your partner. No matter how tight, close, and totally open with each other you'd like to be, there will always be a need for some extent of distance between you and your partner. This space is scary for some people. When some people give their partner space, or at least their idea of what space should be, they start to feel negative feelings and regret. They feel paranoid, at a loss of control, and suspicious. These negative emotions actually create distance, but of a very different kind. This distance encourages the lack of empathy, love, and kindness that genuine closeness facilitates. In order to create the right kind of distance and maintain true closeness, partners must be able to give each other space. What Is Space? Different partners require different levels of space and freedom. This freedom does not mean that your partner will cheat on you or do anything to threaten your relationship. Instead, thi...

Associations and beliefs created during the relationship remain long after the breakup. These create residual tendencies and emotional habits that one continues to experience so long as they remain unexamined. In order to let go, one must understand why these associations were initially created. An association is essentially a connection. Generally speaking, the shape of a heart is associated with romance. The color yellow is associated with sunshine. Your former flame's cologne is associated with the intimacy of being able to appreciate the scent while enjoying physical contact and comfort. Associations can easily bring about old memories and the emotions experienced during such occurrences. These emotions may lead one to feeling needy- as if fulfillment can only be found in the past. By doing so, one idealizes the past and experiences a painful sort of nostalgia. To combat such nostalgia, one must understand why they reminisce. Usually, if one's needs are fulfilled in the pre...

Love is an energy. Love is a state of total acceptance, harmony, and truth. True love with another individual is virtually impossible unless one truly loves themselves. This self love requires an honest and deliberate look into one's self and inner environment in order to be accessed.  Tuning Into the Flow Love resonates from within first- any attempts at finding love outside of the self are futile and shall create new bonds, associations,and expectations that will cause suffering and disappointment. Accept Yourself We can not truly accept others if we do not accept ourselves. Self acceptance demands detachment from the illusory qualities we define ourselves with. You are not your life story. You are not the emotions you feel, the problems you solve, the job you work, the friends you keep, the country you're from.  You are not your favorite sports team, your weekly/nightly/daily/monthly/yearly habits, your interests and hobbies, your talents, your achievements, your successes,...

**UPDATE: I have recently published a new eBook- "Before You Cheat: A Guide to Reclaiming Your Life from Infatuation, Obsession, and Infidelity." It is available for download on Amazon:  http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00HDOF704 . Thank you so much for your support.** Being a possessive, controlling partner can and will r uin a potentially great relationship. If you would like to save your relationship and improve your connection with your partner, you must understand why you are being possessive and controlling. You must resolve the internal conflicts that cause you to behave in a way that negatively restricts your partner's life. You must also change the nature of your relationship choices. Why You Feel the Need to Be Possessive and Controlling Lack of Trust and Respect When you attempt to control another human being and restrict their life according to your preferences, you are greatly disrespecting them. You either do not respect your partner or you do not respect yourself....