Everyone possesses a different set of values. Judging others based on conflicting value systems does not result in any positive progress, connection, or sustainable enjoyment.
Yet common ground exists between most people living within society.
One of the most controversial themes existing throughout social boundaries is the subject of objectifying people into mere sexual or visual objects.
Although the individual does not possess control over how others react and perceive them, individuals have the power to send conscious and subconscious messages as to how they would like to be treated. Behavior and choices all contribute to how an individual suggests others treat him or her.
If You've Got It, Flaunt It
A person with a healthy self esteem will feel comfortable with their body. They accept and take care of their body and take pride in keeping up their health and appearances. Some individuals perceive a certain wardrobe as immodest, whilst others may think it acceptable and attractive.
The intention behind how we show off our bodies is much more important and weighty than the actual clothing we wear.
If one wears revealing clothing in order to gain attention and admiration, one risks becoming a mere physical object. Yet, another person may wear the same outfit out of admiration for the style and appearance of the actual clothing.
We live in a world of intention, and what we pay attention to grows.
If one merely focuses on how many approving glances are thrown his or her way when looking a certain way and fitting a certain image, one becomes reliant upon others' reactions to validate their identity and value.
If one focuses too much on appearances, one equates themselves to the level of beauty one believes they occupy. Beauty becomes a qualitative competition, and the pursuit of such "beauty" harbors negative feelings for the individual and for the individual's acquaintances and friends.
You are not just your face.
Although a person's expression and body language signal their inner activity and emotions, there is no deep meaning behind socially celebrated features.
Large breasts do not make you more of a woman.
Huge arms do not make you more of a man.
A tiny nose and plump lips do not make you a better person.
Although taking care and maintaining the physical body is crucial to happiness and well-being, the identifications made with the physical attributes are purely egotistical and illusory.
Looking a certain way does not demand of you a certain behavior.
Vanity in moderation never hurt anyone. There is nothing wrong in taking pride in appearance and looking a certain way because it makes you happy.
When we attempt to look a certain way in order to please others, we lose our power.
Generally, women will always research the certain "looks" the general male population approves of, and men will always look to the GQ or Men's Health magazine.
Besides the ingrained survival instincts that cause men to prefer fertile, curvy women and women to prefer tall, broad shouldered men, the rest of our opinions are generated by the media.
At one point in time, the general population thought blondes were better because of the prevalence of blue eyed, blonde haired starlets being treated like princesses and winning Prince Charming in the movies and television. Some of us know how ridiculous it is to mark one hair color superior to others. Yet some are still living under this subtle suggestion.
Women are constantly dying their hair or changing their makeup in order to emulate the latest celebrity. Usually, these celebrities condone an image based on sexual prowess. Smoky eyes, pushed up breasts, bedroom hair, and non-existent clothing has become the norm. Sex sells in the entertainment industry, but those celebrities are being paid to be watched.
The prevalence of sexually exciting celebrities serves as a "source of inspiration" for the population. The population relates to the sensationalism of the media. We expect the admiration from being a beauty to be gawked at because we compare ourselves to the airbrushed people working in an industry that expressly depends on looks to function and thrive.
The distinction between the entertainment world and real world has been severely blurred.
Why This Hurts Your Self Esteem
If one wants to be a slave to providing visual pleasure, then that is a personal choice.
But happiness is not to be found exploiting a subjective ideal.
There will always be people who do not find you attractive and do not see your beauty.
There will always be people who others find more attractive and beautiful than you.
There will always be people who just don't care how you look.
And then there are the people who equate you to your looks because you do it to yourself first.
There are people who only value your beauty.
There are people who only want to sleep with you because of your looks.
There are people who will criticize and judge you based on appearance.
Accepting the fact that approval does not lie within others will free you from pursuing ideals dependent on the opinions of others. Once you start living and looking the way you want to for yourself, life gets a lot better.
The Thing About Modesty
Modesty is subjective.
Yet, its hard to deny that overexposure just isn't attractive anymore.
When one constantly wears revealing clothes, there is no mystery.
There can also be no denying that wearing very revealing clothing sends off a specific message.
Some people see past the clothing and disregard it, but
the majority of people will associate overexposure to negative traits.
"Why are you dressing like that anyways?" is a good question to think about.
People with nice bodies like to flaunt their nice bodies- they work hard on them.
But one should be careful not the become their nice bodies.
The unhealthiest habits can come from the most beneficial choices.
You'll never please everyone and even wanting to is such a drag.
Just try to be aware of why you choose to look the way you look.
And if you are experiencing certain social interactions that become the norm for you, evaluate your situation.
If you are being treated a certain way, the cold, hard truth is your looks probably have something to do with it.
Just learn to differentiate between your physical looks and your expressions and body language- which actually have more meaningful implications.
How to not objectify others is for another time.