Be Ridiculously Good at Life

Bad dating choices and victim-hood go hand in hand (more so than you and your failed lover). This attitude is unfortunately quite prevalent in the dating world- many people like to blame others for their lack of happiness and satisfaction in relationships. This is a terrible way to rob yourself of personal responsibility and growth. I'm here to tell you that owning your bad choices (because that's what they really are after all, and if you don't agree, keep reading) is the best thing you can do for your romantic life. Before diving into your bad choices, I suggest having some intention to your approach. I highly recommend adopting an attitude of curiosity and compassion when analyzing your romantic life. People usually adopt a tense and closed off mindset when evaluating their dating experiences, and this often results in bitterness and cynicism. This leaves very little room for empathy and understanding, and without those 2 essential qualities, growth and deeper self disco...

Who is dictating your behavior? Life is easier when we can assume things. Assumptions save us a lot of time and pain. We can assume that a flame is going to burn and so we probably shouldn't put our finger on it. We can assume that if you go around screaming into people's ears, they will probably become very bothered and dislike you. We can assume that most people would not mind having the door held for them because it makes their life easier. We can also assume that holding the door open for someone who is halfway across the room from the exit is not a very good idea because it puts pressure on them to hurry towards the door so you can fulfill some sense of politeness. These assumptions ultimately culminate into our social decorum- our sets of rules and manners that guide us towards treating others pleasantly and with respect and consideration. We usually learn these manners and the reasoning behind them from our parents/elders/peers. What is of utmost importance is really exa...

All of us have needs and desires that are essential to our well-being. A fulfilling relationship helps fill those wants and needs for both partners. Most partners want to be able to fulfill the other's needs, but the necessary component for this to occur successfully is something that most relationships lack....proper communication. Proper communication is an art. It is the most necessary of skills involved in a happy relationship, whether it be platonic or romantic. Unfortunately, proper communication is a skill that most people do not develop. Many great relationships and connections fail due to a lack of understanding. Fortunately, this gap in understanding can be easily closed. The Most Important Part of Communication I think the most important aspect of communication is clarity. Clarity is the goal when it comes to speaking your truth and listening to another's. Clarity is the golden standard, and reaching it means that proper communication has been performed. When clarity...

How to Get Over Things and Stop Being So Upset Disappointment sucks. It sucks almost as much as the fact that disappointment is a part of life. It is guaranteed. And unfortunately, what isn’t guaranteed is the ability to get over those mishaps in an effective way. We tend to mope around and stay mad/angry/sad/low energy about whatever bothered us. Although I know that accepting and acknowledging our emotions is vital to living well and being ridiculously good at life, I also know that having power and control over our emotional energy is even more crucial. Something bugs us. Our partner forgets to do something they said they would do. Our boss snaps at something we aren’t responsible for. The douche bag with the excessively loud mufflers cuts us off again. Sometimes we don’t get what we want. Instead, we get what we really don’t want. Most of us would be very reactive. We’d immediately bring out the blame guns and start pointing them at everyone else. The other people are making us fe...

Hey everyone. It had definitely been a while since I have last written. Life has definitely been changing for me for the best, as I hope it is doing the same for you. I receive quite a few questions on my article "How to Get Over Infatuation." I remember writing that post a few years ago, after I found my inner peace again after having an intense crush on one of my science TA's. Luckily, that infatuation only lasted a few weeks and I came out with some insights to share with you all. Infatuation, obsession, and romance are all huge topics. Unfortunately, I can't respond to everyone's comments, so I'm writing this FAQ article to share some insight and perspective on popular issues regarding this topic. Should I Avoid the Person Completely? Crazy infatuation has crazy momentum behind it. Though it may seem like reversing the momentum's direction is a good idea, it only leads to a pendulum effect. If you try too hard to avoid the person, to block them out of ...

Love may be "easy", but relationships were never meant to be that way. Ideally, relationships are based on love. You commit to a person because you love them. Love is supposed to be easy. Love is supposed to flow with ease and permeate every fiber of your being. Love is supposed to show you the way and be your foundation and guide your decisions.  It sounds pretty simple, and it could be. But we are human beings and human beings are known for being perfectly flawed and riddled with complexes, insecurities, illusions, entitlements, and bad habits. We're all capable of radiating love towards ourselves and our partners, but as humans, we are also equipped with obstacles that get in the way. And this is why relationships can hurt so much sometimes. When we let our inner obstacles get in the way of love, we withdraw love. We can withdraw love from ourselves, from our partners, or altogether. When we withdraw our love, we create a space for pain to fill. We fill that space with...