Be Ridiculously Good at Life

Hello everyone. I know I haven't posted in a while; I have spent quite some time learning and integrating new perspective and perceptions. I'm ready again to offer my writing to the world so stay tuned for more regularly updated blogs. :) Anyway, today I feel the absolute need to talk about twin flames. This concept has spread exponentially in the past few years. The obsession with soul mates and the One has shifted towards that of the twin flame- that other half of one's soul who holds the key to ultimate growth, potential, and purpose. I am all for love, deep relationships, and growth. I am also for balance and being completely honest with ourselves. It seems that the human propensity for unnecessary control and an unwillingness to let life (and love relationships) flow organically has sneakily shape-shifted itself into the rather obsessive approach towards twin flames that is quite prevalent in the participating community. Many are desperate to know whether the pe...

Bad dating choices and victim-hood go hand in hand (more so than you and your failed lover). This attitude is unfortunately quite prevalent in the dating world- many people like to blame others for their lack of happiness and satisfaction in relationships. This is a terrible way to rob yourself of personal responsibility and growth. I'm here to tell you that owning your bad choices (because that's what they really are after all, and if you don't agree, keep reading) is the best thing you can do for your romantic life. Before diving into your bad choices, I suggest having some intention to your approach. I highly recommend adopting an attitude of curiosity and compassion when analyzing your romantic life. People usually adopt a tense and closed off mindset when evaluating their dating experiences, and this often results in bitterness and cynicism. This leaves very little room for empathy and understanding, and without those 2 essential qualities, growth and deeper self disco...

Who is dictating your behavior? Life is easier when we can assume things. Assumptions save us a lot of time and pain. We can assume that a flame is going to burn and so we probably shouldn't put our finger on it. We can assume that if you go around screaming into people's ears, they will probably become very bothered and dislike you. We can assume that most people would not mind having the door held for them because it makes their life easier. We can also assume that holding the door open for someone who is halfway across the room from the exit is not a very good idea because it puts pressure on them to hurry towards the door so you can fulfill some sense of politeness. These assumptions ultimately culminate into our social decorum- our sets of rules and manners that guide us towards treating others pleasantly and with respect and consideration. We usually learn these manners and the reasoning behind them from our parents/elders/peers. What is of utmost importance is really exa...

All of us have needs and desires that are essential to our well-being. A fulfilling relationship helps fill those wants and needs for both partners. Most partners want to be able to fulfill the other's needs, but the necessary component for this to occur successfully is something that most relationships lack....proper communication. Proper communication is an art. It is the most necessary of skills involved in a happy relationship, whether it be platonic or romantic. Unfortunately, proper communication is a skill that most people do not develop. Many great relationships and connections fail due to a lack of understanding. Fortunately, this gap in understanding can be easily closed. The Most Important Part of Communication I think the most important aspect of communication is clarity. Clarity is the goal when it comes to speaking your truth and listening to another's. Clarity is the golden standard, and reaching it means that proper communication has been performed. When clarity...

How to Get Over Things and Stop Being So Upset Disappointment sucks. It sucks almost as much as the fact that disappointment is a part of life. It is guaranteed. And unfortunately, what isn’t guaranteed is the ability to get over those mishaps in an effective way. We tend to mope around and stay mad/angry/sad/low energy about whatever bothered us. Although I know that accepting and acknowledging our emotions is vital to living well and being ridiculously good at life, I also know that having power and control over our emotional energy is even more crucial. Something bugs us. Our partner forgets to do something they said they would do. Our boss snaps at something we aren’t responsible for. The douche bag with the excessively loud mufflers cuts us off again. Sometimes we don’t get what we want. Instead, we get what we really don’t want. Most of us would be very reactive. We’d immediately bring out the blame guns and start pointing them at everyone else. The other people are making us fe...

Hey everyone. It had definitely been a while since I have last written. Life has definitely been changing for me for the best, as I hope it is doing the same for you. I receive quite a few questions on my article "How to Get Over Infatuation." I remember writing that post a few years ago, after I found my inner peace again after having an intense crush on one of my science TA's. Luckily, that infatuation only lasted a few weeks and I came out with some insights to share with you all. Infatuation, obsession, and romance are all huge topics. Unfortunately, I can't respond to everyone's comments, so I'm writing this FAQ article to share some insight and perspective on popular issues regarding this topic. Should I Avoid the Person Completely? Crazy infatuation has crazy momentum behind it. Though it may seem like reversing the momentum's direction is a good idea, it only leads to a pendulum effect. If you try too hard to avoid the person, to block them out of ...

Love may be "easy", but relationships were never meant to be that way. Ideally, relationships are based on love. You commit to a person because you love them. Love is supposed to be easy. Love is supposed to flow with ease and permeate every fiber of your being. Love is supposed to show you the way and be your foundation and guide your decisions.  It sounds pretty simple, and it could be. But we are human beings and human beings are known for being perfectly flawed and riddled with complexes, insecurities, illusions, entitlements, and bad habits. We're all capable of radiating love towards ourselves and our partners, but as humans, we are also equipped with obstacles that get in the way. And this is why relationships can hurt so much sometimes. When we let our inner obstacles get in the way of love, we withdraw love. We can withdraw love from ourselves, from our partners, or altogether. When we withdraw our love, we create a space for pain to fill. We fill that space with...

One of the most limiting beliefs that people may invest in is the belief that others are trying to bring them down and limit them. While this realization is necessary and helpful in recognizing an abusive relationship, this belief is otherwise useless and needs to be dropped. It is time to move on. Everyone is on different stages of the healing path. The path can't be rushed or forced, but it can be encouraged. I am here to encourage you to get out of a certain rut on the path that dictates that you will come across more and more interactions/relationships that continue to disappoint you. If you have the belief that other people can't handle you or that other people are just trying to bring you down/ dim your light, then you're going to be proved right. If you're tired of being proven right, then stop the belief. Why You Formed The Belief It couldn't hurt to wonder why you formed and adopted the belief in the first place. Did you just get out of a slew of bad relati...

Taking everything personally sucks. You get frustrated, angry, and offended by opinions that usually weren't expressed for the purpose of an attack or threat. This tendency leads you to feel alienated, oversensitive, and alone. I'm sure you don't want to feel alienated, oversensitive, and alone. Its fine to be offended. If someone says or does something that you find genuinely harmful/ignorant/wrong, you have every right to speak up, challenge their opinion and defend your own. The problem lies in entitlement. If you think people should cater to your beliefs/opinions and tiptoe around you to indulge your reactiveness/oversensitivity, then you will be disappointed time and time again. You will turn into an emotional wreck and no one of strong character will want to be around you because you will irritate them with your neediness and entitlement. It can suck to hear, but no one wants to be around a  judgmental crybaby. It's great to be sensitive, and it's great to be ...

    Dear fellow women who have been called intimidating, strong, and free-spirited, do not fall for the lies that massage your ego. Fellow ladies who identify with being fearless, a leader, a force to reckoned with, do not cheat yourself by prescribing to a set of limiting beliefs that only reinforce a tainted lens that robs you of seeing the full beauty in your truly delicate, vulnerable life. Alpha women, do not settle for a lifestyle that operates from a place of dismissal and arrogance in life and in love. Strong, independent ladies- do not fuck yourself over by accepting your current crowd. Your current crowd is what drives you to differentiate yourself. Your current environment is what drives you to profess your superiority to the pettiness and mindlessness that surrounds you. Do not cheat yourself by thinking this is where your throne resides. Do not cheat yourself by believing that this is the kingdom over which you reign supreme- you as the alpha female in the land of...

In any relationship, fights and emotional arguments are inevitable. Fights have a generally bad reputation- problems arise, offense is taken, words become sharp, passion is ignited, and the issue is often only resolved after both parties calm down and think rationally about the situation. These arguments usually arise from tiny annoyances, quickly escalating into a slew of passive aggressive recollections of unresolved hurts, petty speeches of defense, and a growing inability to switch perspective. We get so attached to being right, to being the one hurt, to being the one who is asked too much of, that what we don't even want what we need- resolution and relief. I believe that fights are inevitable. Two people growing more intimately with one another are bound to run into personal differences that are met with great resistance from the other. This resistance can really hurt. We're annoyed that they refuse to be more considerate, compassionate, logical, emotional, etc. We have a...

Image from: http://www.progressfocusedapproach.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/Happiness-Meaningfulness.jpg What is meaningfulness? A meaningful life with a meaningful job, meaningful relationships, and meaningful passions is often prescribed as the means to a fulfilling life. Yet the idea of meaningfulness is a vague one- what gives an experience meaning? In order to really find what is meaningful, the concept just be consciously defined in order to align intentions and actions in the right direction. What does meaningfulness do? Meaningfulness leads to fulfillment. A meaningless encounter is unfulfilling. Why do certain experiences fulfill us? I think that fulfillment is the satisfaction of our deeper needs. Deeper needs differ with the individual, but common deeper needs such as trust, connection, and a sense of belonging seem to be among the more universal requirements. Fulfilling Encounters For example, Person A feels unfulfilled with her relationship with Person B because their i...