Saturday, December 21, 2013

Personal Consultations and Coaching

The new year is coming around and I would like to remind all of my readers that I do offer consultation services based on a donations basis. Click on the Personal Consultation tab on my blog to find out more about this service I am offering.

If you have any issue(s) that you feel you might be able to handle with the right support, insight, and perspective, I am confident that I can provide. I am highly sensitive and observant to any details and I assure you that your privacy is fully protected.

I can offer one on one coaching if that is what you need, including regularly scheduled calls/Skype sessions if that is the service that is right for you. I emphasize the importance of finding an approach that is right for every client, and I am highly flexible to all your needs. My top priority is making sure you work through any issues with more than enough guidance and support to help you thrive.

I look forward to working with all of you.

Warmly with love,

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Thoughts on Privacy and Personal Boundaries

We are all connected but we also exist individually. We have individual lives and with that comes the need for individual boundaries. Personal boundaries are important for our personal growth. With personal boundaries, we can concentrate our efforts on a specific desire or state. It is the personal boundary that helps us focus and keeps our energy and intentions from scattering.

Privacy is an aspect of personal boundaries. No one has a right to demand that we admit our thoughts and feelings. When we want to keep information private for a reason, we usually do not feel the desire to express and share that information. This intention is not based on greed or hoarding, and it is not based on fear. What I am referring to is a genuine desire to keep information to yourself because it helps you grow and you are genuinely happy with that decision.

How can this be so?

Maybe someone has a disease or internal conflict. They might want to keep that disease or conflict private so that they can work on it themselves without the interruption of others' intentions. Sometimes it is easier to deal with inner conflict without a barrage of other people's opinions blowing things out of our sense of proportion. Sometimes it is easier to deal with internal conflict without a barrage of other people's judgement or praise or sympathy. It is easier to find the inner calmness and clarity needed to dissolve and move through inner conflict when we look deep within ourselves. Of course, if someone wants help, they shall ask. But if one genuinely does not care for the help of others, privacy is a right and a personal boundary that can be healthily maintained. Do not feel guilty if you want to preserve your privacy.

This also applies for personal achievements. Not to be confused with greed or hoarding, if someone is developing a project or technique, it is usually in their best interest to maintain a sense of privacy surrounding that project. This allows for the concentration of effort to develop something that will ultimately be shared. A successful chef keeps his recipes guarded but his food is available to all. An inventor wants his project to be accessible to the world but he keeps his blueprints to himself. Those foods and those inventions can be analyzed and recreated by careful observers who study those products, but ultimately, it was privacy that funneled the route to success.

Privacy also applies to personal life. Is there not a reason why private parts are considered private? Nudity is natural but is there not a sense of comfort and security gained from keeping your body private, and is there not a healthy sense of power over your life that comes with the power of choosing what aspects of yourself are clothes and what aspects of yourself are exposed? Privacy must be respected. One can not demand that another expose what they desire to keep private, unless that privacy impedes on another or that privacy is ultimately detrimental. Of course it is not healthy to keep a crime private or to keep a resource that can help others private, but in this world, that is where personal decision and judgment comes into play. That being said, I speak not of the extreme situations in this article.

Privacy really is about healthy boundaries. Privacy is an aspect of personal boundaries that promotes growth and promotes development. There is a beauty to inner journey and privacy protects that inner journey. We are one but we are also individuals in this realm. A healthy sense of privacy allows healthy growth.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

New eBook!

Hey everyone!

I just wanted you to all know that I just published en eBook-  "Before You Cheat: A Guide to Reclaiming Your Life from Infatuation, Obsession, and Infidelity." It is available for download on Amazon: Thank you so much for your support.

Thursday, December 12, 2013

How to Deal With Loneliness and Feeling Like You Don't Belong

Sometimes we can feel completely alone in the most crowded of places. Our loneliness and lack of connection is heightened because of everyone we find ourselves around, it seems that none of them really understand us or get us or accept us or love us for who we are. This is a real problem that causes many people lots of unhappiness, resentment, disappointment, and other negative emotions. If one finds themselves with an excess of this negative emotion, one can become overwhelmed and not know how to deal with it. This leads to us ignoring the negative emotion and distracting ourselves. The more we distract ourselves, the deeper we fall into the hole of loneliness. We drift further and further away from others and we become more and more unhappy. There is a point where this unhappiness and loneliness becomes completely debilitating and we lose the desire to live. No matter how much you practice detachment, and no matter how much happiness you find in yourself, life is always better when we create loving, caring connections with other beings. I hope this article helps you achieve that.

We Attract What We Resist
We attract what we keep fighting. If deep inside, we are scared of rejection and keep fighting it, hoping to never experience and face it in our lives, we attract relationships that force us to feel rejected. This rejection might not be obvious, it might work indirectly. If we are so scared of rejection that we keep pushing it away, we act in a way to try and achieve just that. We behave in a way that we think will save us from rejection- we act in a way that makes us "acceptable" to others. But by doing this, we attract people who actually don't accept us for who we truly are because we are only giving others a false version of ourselves in hopes that we will be loved/appreciated/accepted/belong. By fearing not belonging, we attract people who we don't truly belong with. By this, I meant that we attract relationships that are vapid and meaningless- free of the genuine love and appreciation we seek. Of course, the degree of meaningless depends on the degree of one's fear. The more fearful you are of rejection, the more opportunities to face that rejection we attract. Rejection is a tool here- it isn't bad! It shows you that the social interactions you are partaking in do not cater to your good and that it isn't good in your life. In a perfect world, people wouldn't reject each other- we would all accept each other and this acceptance would free us from the creation of so many problems. But alas, this is not a perfect world. But we can practice acceptance so much that our fear of rejection shrinks in comparison to it. The fear of rejection is totally normal, but to keep letting it grow and grow is debilitating.

Accept yourself and love yourself and you will find that the illusion of rejection will crumble more and more with each moment of gratitude, happiness, and realization of self love you experience.

Are You On the Same Frequency?
We can feel lost in our social interactions if we do not find connections that really vibe with us. If you feel socially lost, examine your most frequent interactions. What are they based off of? What do you talk about, what do you not talk about? Do you have common interests in the nonmaterialistic aspects of life? Do you have clashing senses of humor? Is your style of communication in disharmony to theirs?

People are different. Although people have varying degrees of flexibility and adaptation in regards to how they can interact with others while still remaining genuine, the truth is that people are happiest with people who are in harmony with their vibes. This means that it is okay not to be thrilled by everyone's presence. It is okay not to want to be around certain people and it is okay to really want to be around other people. Listen to your inner voice and emotions when you interact with people- do you feel a sense of harmony and acceptance and connection with them or do you feel like the interaction and communication is strained or draining? Respect your inner voice and emotions, and don't try to intellectually overanalyze your interactions. Harmony with others makes you feel good. Follow that positive feeling, but make sure that when you follow that feeling, you are grounded.

Others can make you feel good because they supply what you lack- this can lead to codependence and other harmful situations. Learn to express your emotions to yourself so that they do not cause you to go about interacting with others so that your emotions can find an outlet- this is like growing your own garden so that you are not desperate for anyone's hand outs when you are very hungry.

Love Yourself
Love yourself by taking care of yourself and listening to your feelings, thoughts, and desires and respecting their validity. By doing so, you will attract people who also respect your thoughts, feelings, and desires and you will learn how to respect other people's thoughts, feelings, and desires. No one is a victim here, and it all starts by really getting to know yourself. You must get to know yourself or else you will depend on others and your relationship with others to find definition and direction in life and identity. Although identity is a taboo subject- we live in this reality that makes it so that we need a sense of identity- who we are and who we are not- to really experience life, or else we wouldn't be in this reality of separation because we would be everything all the time. We live in a reality of separation, illusory or not, so embrace that and don't feel bad for embracing it because it is a tool for you to experience life and cultivate your happiness and desires. It is a tool for self growth.

Practice being the person you want to be around. Practice acceptance and love. Be generous with your attention and affection. Be spontaneous with acts of kindness and tokens of appreciation. Respect boundaries and be understanding, with yourself and with others. Practice honesty and respect and patience. The more you offer these aspects of yourself, the more it will be reflected by your reality onto you through others so that you can experience it.

Tips for Feeling Connection
Some very helpful things to do to feel a sense of harmony and connection are:
-spending time in nature
-listening to music that really moves your emotions
-spending time with animals and really paying attention to how you feel around your favorite pet
-hugging others
-making comfortable eye contact with others and smiling genuinely

I wish you the best on your inner journey.

Lots of love,

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Don't Overidentify with Your Thoughts and How to Release Anger

Hello everyone,

I hope all is well. I have decided to try out other forms of media to really fulfill the purpose of this blog. I hope it serves you and helps you in any way.

Here is a video I recorded when I felt inspired to share this message on the topic of over-identifying with our thoughts and not giving them the power to run our lives.

And here is a link to a Quick Anger Resolving Meditation I have recorded for you. Feel free to download it. I hope this helps at least one person out. An extended version is being currently uploaded.

All the love,

How to Reduce Holiday Shopping Stress: Tips for Holiday Shopping!

Here are a few tips to make your holiday shopping experience a little less hectic and a lot more enjoyable!

Hydrate and Feed Yourself!
Department stores have terrible air circulation that rob your body of water. The changes in temperature, the wind, and all of that walking also lower your hydration. If you add in the caffeinated drinks and salty snacks commonly consumed during these mall outings, your body will be begging for water and better nutrition. Thirsty and hungry people are cranky people, so make sure you drinks lots of water- bring a reusable bottle and refill it at a water fountain or (graciously) ask an employee at a snack booth to fill it up for you. Bring small snacks to eat in between store raids, but eat them outside of the store, and most definitely not in a long line. If you absolutely must eat or drink while in line, make sure it isn't loud and that it doesn't have much of a scent to it. Don't slurp at the bottom of your iced drink or litter either, please. Be considerate of others.

If you plan on going to the food courts, plan for the crowd. When it gets really busy, you will spend a lot of time waiting in line for food and trying to find a table. Take this fact into account.

Wear Comfortable Clothes and Smell Good
You want to strike a balance between comfort and decency. Don't kill yourself wearing high heels and a really heavy coat that you will take on and off and carry between the temperature changes, and don't wear your gross dirty pajamas and unwashed hair. The people waiting in line with you do not want to smell you- so make sure you exercise proper hygiene and smell as neutral as possible. If you want to wear a fragrance, make sure that you dab it on in small amounts- no one wants to be overwhelmed by your perfume shower.

Plan to Feel Good!
Despite the generous and thoughtful intentions, holiday shopping can be a draining experience. Keep yourself in a good mood by starting the day off with an energizing bout of exercise and a great breakfast. Compile a playlist that will help you tune out the horrible in-store music. Play games on your phone (silently) and take breaks to just breath and stretch out your limbs and remember why you are shopping in the first place. People watch for a while. Go shopping with someone who is calm and pleasant! Be calm and pleasant.

Be Considerate!
No one wants to wait in long lines, but alas, there they are. Don't cut people or ask someone to hold your spot in line while you obtain more items of clothing. Don't talk too loudly in line. Put your phone on vibrate. Don't litter and if you are bringing your children, make sure they behave and don't disturb the other shoppers. Try not to complain and sigh in line, or display other impatient behaviors like crossing your arms and repeatedly tapping your foot or rolling your eyes- the stress can be contagious. Before you get the register, have your wallet and coupon ready. If you really want to get checked out quickly, take off all of the hangers from your clothes and organize them before reaching the register and tell the cashier that you do not want your clothes folded. Bring a reusable shopping bag.

Plan Ahead and Stay on Budget!
Obtain a map of the shopping center you will be visiting beforehand and plan a route or at least familiarize yourself with the shops and their locations. Look up coupons to those shops beforehand and make a list of what you are buying for whom- this becomes easier when you look up the catalog beforehand to familiarize yourself with the items offered at the prices they are being offered. In case those things happen to sell out at the store, get an idea of another item you'd buy at a similar price. If you don't want to plan an items list, make a budget! Bring a calculator and a small notepad to keep everything recorded and calculated.

If you detest shopping, just go to the grocery store and buy gift cards. You'll be done in ten minutes, save gas, time, energy, and your sanity.

Happy Holidays!
Try to remember why you are buying what you are buying for the people in your life! Don't become overwhelmed, just take it easy and know that fighting over an item is never worth it (but if you seriously feel slighted, talk to the manager calmly.) Good luck!

Saturday, December 7, 2013

Why You Should Write A List of What You Want in Life and Why You Should ASK

Hey everyone! I hope all is well and that you are all at peace and in the moment, enjoying life through your mind, body, heart, and spirit :) I just felt really inspired to share some thoughts about focusing on what you want in life. Sometimes we ask ourselves, hey, what do I actually want in life? And sometimes, we honestly don't know. I think a lot of the times we don't know is because we forget about what we love and what makes life fun, because I truly do believe that life is meant to be fun and joyous and utterly fulfilling.

I encourage you to write a list of what you want in life- what enthralls you, what comforts you, what thrills you. You don't have to know why or how these things might happen, but you do have to put yourself in a good place and really listen to your heart. Ask yourself what you want in life when you're having fun and in good spirits, with good company or in peaceful solitude. Allow your imagination to run without rules and don't let doubt or ideas of rationality or probability get in the way of really exploring your heart's desires.

Write a list of what you want in life. If you need an example, here is mine!

What I Want To Experience:

Dear Universe, I would love to:
Star in a principal role in a major blockbuster movie
Write songs and record vocals for a beautiful album with talented musicians
Write more articles that really touch and move people and help them feel amazing and great
Learn how to cook Thai and Indian food from an expert
Grow my own vegetable and fruit garden that can feed my entire family and other families
Start a school in the Philippines that teaches skills for free so that people can get hired and work jobs
Donate a million dollars to a charity I truly believe in
Start my own microbrewery and fermentation plant
Practice aerial partner yoga with wonderful people
Learn how to perform on aerial silks
Open up my own solar powdered coffee roasting cafe

These are just some things I truly, genuinely would love to do and experience! I can see myself doing them because I admit that I really do want to experience these things and I have total faith that the Universe provides me with everything I truly want and need. I'm not afraid to ask for what I want!

If your faith needs a little bit of refreshing, write a list of things you have experienced that seem miraculous to you in retrospect. Here is mine!

Living in my current beautiful spot of town, close to nature and the city, and getting here from having lived in a tiny, tiny town halfway across the world.
Having straight teeth without braces even though the dentist said there was a 90% chance my front teeth would always be extremely gapped and crooked.
Pursuing a science degree at a great university notorious for their amazing science classes despite only having taken 2 AP classes in English during high school without any background in chemistry.
Having an insanely great relationship with best friends that are heaven sent.
Making money by being slightly studied! (Research participation for the win.)
Being able to write this blog and hear from readers who appreciate what I do and knowing that I am serving others.
Interning at 2 leading national companies so far.
Being a part of a tight knit, loving family.
The list goes on and on.

 My life is a miracle, and I am so grateful.If you feel bad writing this list or sharing it because you think it is considered bragging, don't give up! It isn't bragging if you admit that the Universe is what made this all possible. Stop thinking in terms of deserving and not deserving and try to think in terms of what energy your giving out. The entire universe is made of energy!  You get what you give! If you give out positive, loving vibes to yourself and to the world, the world gives it back to you. The world is a mysterious place, and ultimately I believe the world and life is on our side and wants us to enjoy life. So be grateful and pour love into your moments and into your life and the love will overflow and your life will be a great experience of happiness and joy and alignment.

All the love,